Tuesday, August 6, 2013

       Today so many people want ready made success, ready made relationships, ready made friendships, they want everything ready made that they can lay their hands on. Well while a hand few may get lucky, most people don't. Some people waste so much time waiting, when they should be building. And some others spend the time wishing they would get that ready made thing instead of working hard to make that wish a reality.
     Nothing good comes easy is a very popular quote a lot of people are familiar with. But to so many, it is just a saying. The message behind it hardly ever hits home. While some people love to seat back and wish for everything they want or even cheat their way to get there, some very reasonable few have decided to work now so they can smile latter. Every one wants to seat at the table, but not everyone is willing to work hard and tirelessly to get there. To be lazy and just seat around wishing is so easy, and most likely than not many people prefer to take the easy way out or even look for a short cut. Growing up I remember my mum always telling me "short cuts will cut you short". So whatever you find yourself doing, do it to the best of your ability.
      While most people are comfortable watching movies, surfing the net and just whiling away precious time, some people are working hard trying to bring something relevant to the table thereby making reasonable contributions to their society or the little communites they find themselves in. chatting, pinging, sleeping, gossiping, e.t.c. will never get you to any relevant position. But hard work will.
      The truth is hard work takes a lot of discipline. And the human body always wants to just relax and be lazy so it takes a lot of discipline to do the right thing at the right time. The mind always wants to tell you to procrastinate but it takes a lot of self discipline to say I will work hard now and enjoy latter. If you spend your youthful years playing and relaxing, you will end up having to work hard when you should be resting. Hard work really does not kill. One thing I have realized in life is, people always respect and want to be associated with someone who has something to bring to the table. They tend to forget you or look down on you when all you do is practically nothing, or nothing that counts for anything.
      The time to act is now, the time to work hard is now. Tomorrow is a day short of what you would have achieved today. So wake up from your slumber and work hard now. In winter I always wish so hard that someone would just dash me a car and end my misery of having to stand in the cold waiting on the bus. But I still take the bus. That just goes to show that wishing so hard for something hardly ever delivers that thing to you. But working hard does. The best results can only be achieved through actions and not through wishing. So stop wishing your time away and act now!! My friends grandma used to tell my younger sister and I " NO SWEAT NO SWEET". Years have passed now, and I am beginning to understand that you must work hard. God has deposited all it takes to be great and to succeed in you, but you need to work hard to make it a reality in your life. STOP WISHING START WORKING!!!!

By Prize Abimbola Arowolo.

                         HOW TO BUILD UP YOUR SELF ESTEEM. 
      In a world like ours, it is not uncommon to find so many people especially youths and teenagers with very low self-esteem. Peer pressure and the need to fit in are on an all-time high. And in a bid to fit in, a lot of people loose themselves, develop very low self-esteems and some even end up in serious trouble. 
       Self esteem is something that should be very relevant to everyone. Just in case someone is wondering what self esteem means, it can be said to be " A feeling of being happy with your own character and abilities.  Confidence in one's own worth or abilities. i.e. self respect.  The moment, a person begins to feel like they are not good enough just being themselves or need to be like someone else to be perceived as relevant or important means ones self esteem is low. While low self esteem can be associated with both the male and female gender, it is mostly common or highly associated with the female gender. 
          I am not a very old person, but in the few years I have lived on this planet, I have observed a lot of female friends, friends of friends, and just ladies in general, and i have come to the conclusion that we battle with low self esteem more often than not. So many ladies walk and move around looking very confident, but deep down inside they are battling with low self esteem and insecurities. I can not categorically boast of being hundred percent confident, but it is something we all need to work on. The way you look on the outside is quite important. But the way you feel on the inside is way more important than the way you appear outwardly. Most women end up with low self esteems because they spend valuable time trying to look good for the public eye. Instead of working on their inner strength. If women, could focus or redirect the same energy they spend trying to loose weight, and having the perfect figure into building up their inner strengths, low self esteem will not be such a problem. I am not against loosing weight or looking good just to be clear. I am just saying feeling good on the inside is also important and would even enhance how you look on the outside.  
        It is very easy for human beings generally to hold on to negative reviews  or remarks than positive ones. For instance, someone tells you, your legs are so fat, or why are you so short? And your mind just absorbs it, and then you begin to feel like you need to change it, or do something about it. Instead of maybe focusing on a strength you have.  There was a certain time in my life when I had to battle with that inner low self esteem and tell myself  that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You do not have to be like, look like or act like everyone to be amazing. All you need to do is focus on your strengths and gradually turn your weaknesses to strengths as well.you need to learn to love yourself and get to know yourself and realize how amazing you are. Basically you need to sort of fall in love with yourself and who God has designed you to be. Below are some very important ways to build up your self esteem. weather male or female. 

1) First thing is to buy a mirror and take a very good look at yourself. without make up. And just admire yourself and what you see. 
2) Second thing is to tell yourself you were created perfectly. I.e God did not make any mistake when he created you. Tell yourself your eyes are perfect, your nose is perfect. And just soak in the beauty God has given to you. Basically just tell yourself you are the best. :) 
3) Tell yourself you do not need to look like anyone else to be perfect. Neither do you need to alter any body part. I strongly believe low self esteem is what drives people to try to alter their bodies because they do not feel good enough. Tell yourself you do not need to bend who you are to fit into the society, the society will have to bend to fit and accept you because you are perfect.
4) Do not, i repeat do not hang around people who only pay attention to your weaknesses. I believe everyone has that one friend who always notices the negative first before anything else. Avoid such people. Hang around people who see your strengths and potential. 
5) Never get too comfortable with yourself because there is always room for improvement. There is still so much about yourself you are yet to discover. Hidden potentials and strengths. And you will never discover these hidden treasures if you are always focused on just the outer shell. i.e the outward appearance. 
6) You need to tell yourself that your weaknesses and flaws is not all there is to you. In fact they are part of the components that make you human and they are the great opportunities for change. Don't see your weaknesses and flaws as just weaknesses, see them as a window to working on yourself and a challenge  to bring out the best you there can be.
      With that said. Looking good on the outside is very important. But it is also as important to feel good on the inside. And you should not depend on people's complements to determine how good or bad you feel. You should learn to appreciate yourself and tell yourself what you want to hear once in a while. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Copying someone else or trying to be like someone else is really a crime and a waste of the potentials hidden in you. Be yourself and always have it in mind that, you are the best and only you there would ever be in this world. So you owe it to yourself to be the best you there can ever be!!