How I FEEL.........

     So I really don't know what title to give to this write up because I just want to pour out my mind and how I really feel right now. I know a lot of people read my write ups and i get really great feed backs and all of that. But today I don't want to preach or advice any one. Cause really Most of the things i write are things I have learnt, or still in the process of learning.
          Sometimes life looks so complicated and I begin to have so many questions that frankly no one has the answers to. Like why do people fall sick, or why are some people so poor and why do people get divorced? hurt each other? Why do people fight in wars? Why can't we just live a simple happy life. Why does life have to get complicated once in a while. I know I am not a kid any more. But sometimes I just want to ask somebody and get the perfect answer.
         So at times like this, I find it very easy to write because I get to pretend i'm having a conversation with God. And I know he hears everything even the things I cannot tell anyone about. Sometimes I just get tired of everything. Praying, hoping, working, but I know you are there and you care even when I disappoint you and ignore you. So God this is another letter from me to you. Asking you to never give up on me and to keep working on me and in this very complicated world. So to all those who are confused or sad, or just feel like giving up, I believe no one has it so easy. But when you have God it is bearable and better. So let him hold your hand through whatever it is. As i encourage myself I certainly hope you are encouraged as well.
                     

                                     WHO TO TRUST????

                                                                                                                                                 

            I just felt like writing something before i go to bed, because I know a lot of people can relate to this. When we were kids, we were all so eager to grow up. Little did we know that growing up has a lot of challenges and obstacles you need to confront and defeat as time goes on. A friend of mine wrote on his Facebook status “Growing up is just a setup" I laughed when I saw it because I was kind of feeling that way sort of. And I am sure many youths out there and maybe a few adults feel the same way.

            Sometimes I wish life would be so easy and void of sorrows, struggles, fears and all the many confusions. But I guess that's just part of what sin brought into the world. There are days when I just feel like being alone and just enjoying the silence and the beauty of what God has created. But there is just so much noise, distraction, and confusion around the world. Everything is happening so fast. Every day you wake up is another day to make either a right or wrong choice. And sometimes, it is really difficult to know what right or wrong is in a world such as ours. And it even becomes more confusing when you realize people who have told you to do right are capable of being wrong and doing wrong.

           I had my heart broken once. Yeah i know right? It was nothing serious you may say but a huge deal to me. lol. That was when I began to realize how complicated life could be. I can lol(laugh out loud) about it now cause God helped me through it and thought me a lot. A part of me wanted to hurt and just be really mean to all the guys in the world. But something inside kept telling me to trust  "God" before any man. This was really hard to do. Cause I was so mad and I kept all the anger inside. It took time learning to trust God. And the best thing came out of it. I learnt how to be in a relationship with God. Tell him how i feel about every little thing. How it hurt, who made it hurt, where it hurt. And all the things one would share with a friend,

           Fast forward a couple of years later. Am good, things are going great, and I fall in love again finally. And there is the part of me who is really scared to commit so I put "one leg in one leg out", and the moment I see a challenge, I get ready to run for my life or should I say "heart". I even make up reasons in my head why this whole love and trust thing is a scam. So the safest bet is, never get too serious. And leave before you get hurt. Then God reminded me of what trust is and how he is the only person I can really trust. So I made up my mind to entrust my life and the lives of those I love and the person I love and everything to him. Since the only person I could really trust was God at that time. It’s so easy trusting God when everything is going smoothly. But the minute I see a storm I panic and begin to trust in my own strength which always fails. When you trust God enough to give him the things and people you love, and not place them above him, he takes care of them and you!

           I remember sometime last year when I was so confused and uncertain about so many things and I could not sleep, I decided to have a conversation with God. And peter walking on water came to my heart. And I heard a voice in me say, “you always sink when you take your eyes off of me”. And I realized how Its always so easy to forget God when things are going great till we meet another stumbling block, storm or confusion. To be honest keeping my eyes on God is not always so easy. But I keep doing the best I can daily. Having God with me makes living in this world bearable. It gives me hope and courage to go through life.  Are you confused, heartbroken, disappointed, angry, depressed or worried? Well I don't have all the answers to be honest. But I know someone who does. He knows how you feel even without you saying a word. He understands every tear drop, he knows where it hurts, how its hurts and when it hurts. He knows when you are confused and just feel like giving up. He is the reason I wake up every morning and want to try again. His name is Jesus. Try talking to him, leaning on him and trusting in him. He is 100% guaranteed. Have a relationship with him and keep trusting. 

       Here is something to keep you going. Jeremiah 29;11. There is hope in your future so keep trusting him to bring it to light!!