Tuesday, August 6, 2013

                         HOW TO BUILD UP YOUR SELF ESTEEM. 
      In a world like ours, it is not uncommon to find so many people especially youths and teenagers with very low self-esteem. Peer pressure and the need to fit in are on an all-time high. And in a bid to fit in, a lot of people loose themselves, develop very low self-esteems and some even end up in serious trouble. 
       Self esteem is something that should be very relevant to everyone. Just in case someone is wondering what self esteem means, it can be said to be " A feeling of being happy with your own character and abilities.  Confidence in one's own worth or abilities. i.e. self respect.  The moment, a person begins to feel like they are not good enough just being themselves or need to be like someone else to be perceived as relevant or important means ones self esteem is low. While low self esteem can be associated with both the male and female gender, it is mostly common or highly associated with the female gender. 
          I am not a very old person, but in the few years I have lived on this planet, I have observed a lot of female friends, friends of friends, and just ladies in general, and i have come to the conclusion that we battle with low self esteem more often than not. So many ladies walk and move around looking very confident, but deep down inside they are battling with low self esteem and insecurities. I can not categorically boast of being hundred percent confident, but it is something we all need to work on. The way you look on the outside is quite important. But the way you feel on the inside is way more important than the way you appear outwardly. Most women end up with low self esteems because they spend valuable time trying to look good for the public eye. Instead of working on their inner strength. If women, could focus or redirect the same energy they spend trying to loose weight, and having the perfect figure into building up their inner strengths, low self esteem will not be such a problem. I am not against loosing weight or looking good just to be clear. I am just saying feeling good on the inside is also important and would even enhance how you look on the outside.  
        It is very easy for human beings generally to hold on to negative reviews  or remarks than positive ones. For instance, someone tells you, your legs are so fat, or why are you so short? And your mind just absorbs it, and then you begin to feel like you need to change it, or do something about it. Instead of maybe focusing on a strength you have.  There was a certain time in my life when I had to battle with that inner low self esteem and tell myself  that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. You do not have to be like, look like or act like everyone to be amazing. All you need to do is focus on your strengths and gradually turn your weaknesses to strengths as well.you need to learn to love yourself and get to know yourself and realize how amazing you are. Basically you need to sort of fall in love with yourself and who God has designed you to be. Below are some very important ways to build up your self esteem. weather male or female. 

1) First thing is to buy a mirror and take a very good look at yourself. without make up. And just admire yourself and what you see. 
2) Second thing is to tell yourself you were created perfectly. I.e God did not make any mistake when he created you. Tell yourself your eyes are perfect, your nose is perfect. And just soak in the beauty God has given to you. Basically just tell yourself you are the best. :) 
3) Tell yourself you do not need to look like anyone else to be perfect. Neither do you need to alter any body part. I strongly believe low self esteem is what drives people to try to alter their bodies because they do not feel good enough. Tell yourself you do not need to bend who you are to fit into the society, the society will have to bend to fit and accept you because you are perfect.
4) Do not, i repeat do not hang around people who only pay attention to your weaknesses. I believe everyone has that one friend who always notices the negative first before anything else. Avoid such people. Hang around people who see your strengths and potential. 
5) Never get too comfortable with yourself because there is always room for improvement. There is still so much about yourself you are yet to discover. Hidden potentials and strengths. And you will never discover these hidden treasures if you are always focused on just the outer shell. i.e the outward appearance. 
6) You need to tell yourself that your weaknesses and flaws is not all there is to you. In fact they are part of the components that make you human and they are the great opportunities for change. Don't see your weaknesses and flaws as just weaknesses, see them as a window to working on yourself and a challenge  to bring out the best you there can be.
      With that said. Looking good on the outside is very important. But it is also as important to feel good on the inside. And you should not depend on people's complements to determine how good or bad you feel. You should learn to appreciate yourself and tell yourself what you want to hear once in a while. You are fearfully and wonderfully made. Copying someone else or trying to be like someone else is really a crime and a waste of the potentials hidden in you. Be yourself and always have it in mind that, you are the best and only you there would ever be in this world. So you owe it to yourself to be the best you there can ever be!!


  1. Hmmn... Very good write-up. Every lady needs to read this!

  2. thanks dear all glory to God, and yes every lady needs to read it :).