WHAT IT MEANS TO TRUST GOD.

         I have always been the type to plan everything out and hope everything works out the way I planned. I never liked surprises except its very pleasant/ But even at that, I preferred to know what would happen and how things will turn out. But unfortunately, the human mind is too small to know what lies ahead. Hence the need to trust in a more supreme and all knowing being (GOD).

         The honest truth is trusting God is not as easy as claiming and saying we trust him. Especially when it seems like he is not answering a prayer, or giving us the miracle we are so desperate for. I got to a point in 2013 where I had absolutely no trust in God. My sister was battling with cancer and all our prayers, fasting, begging and pleading seemed not to yield any results. I kept thinking maybe we were being punished. I had never seen someone go through so much pain. I cried a lot, I could not sleep, and whenever I got a call from home I went into panic mode cause I had lost my trust in God and in the process I lost my peace of mind. My mind became an open ground for the enemy. Fear, worry and depression took over. I was not even able to go to church any more because to me God could not do anything about the situation. But I was actually wrong.
            I really did not know that as christian's, we will go through trials. I just felt that God was meant to give us what we want when we ask. Especially if we are trying our very best to live lives pleasing to him. But when I got home my sisters faith in God opened my eyes. She was still serving God through the pain. And then I wondered why I was so mad at God when my health was still intact. I realized I had been loving God for what I could get from him and for what he could do for me and my family. But my sister was loving God simply because he is God. She was loving him even while her organs were shutting down. Watching her made me realize that trusting God is something we choose to do. And trials are a test of ones faith and trust in God. Sometimes we may not understand God's decision, but we have to keep trusting him.
            I looked closely at the life and Jesus and I realized that even He was not without trials. And just like the rest of us he asked God to let the cup pass over him, but if it wont then let Gods will be done. Trials really do make you stronger if you continue to trust in God. A friend of mine told me something, he said prize we live life forward and understand it backwards, The truth is if God allowed us know everything, there will be no need to trust him. And we will not want to go through trials which will actually help us grow, When you loose a loved one, you appreciate the gift of life better, When you fall sick and recover, you become thankful for health, When you have failed many times and you eventually succeed, your are more appreciative. When you have been so broke, you appreciate having plenty. The truth is as children of God, we will go through trials, and if we stay in line with God, he will be our peace in the storm and help us come out strong. All the great people mentioned in the bible went through one sort of trial or the other, The one that stands out or the most popular one is the story of job. Even after he lost every thing he had, he still had his trust in God and God was very proud of him. But that's not the high light of that story for me, the high light is that God actually trusted Job also and could brag about him. God knew that no matter what Job would go through, his love and trust in him will remain.
           So my conclusion is that when our love for God is solely based on what he has to offer us, our trust will easily be shaken. But when our love for God becomes unconditional, we will trust him when we get what we want and when we don't/ We will trust him simply because He is God.