Friday, February 13, 2015
DOUBLE LIFE STANDARDS.
A lot of people carry the title "CHRISTIAN" But are not willing enough to bear the burden of what it really truly means to be "CHRIST LIKE". I have noticed that most times, people will rather just have the title and leave the work that follows alone because it takes so much to really be like Christ, especially in the sinful world we live in today. So many people live double lives. They go to church, listen to what the preacher says, and then they leave church saying the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, may God have mercy and may his grace cover us. They choose to be lazy over working hard to die to their flesh.
People hide their flaws and struggles for the fear of being judged. No one wants to admit that they are battling with pornography, no one wants to admit that they have fallen into fornication, no one wants to admit that they struggling with lust. No one testifies about God delivering them from masturbation, no one says God saved me from a bad relationship that was leading me straight to hell. Everyone comes around with a mask hiding who they really are. Too proud to admit that they need help, too scared to talk about their sinful nature for fear of being judged, too weak to fight the battle alone, too broken to try to pick up the pieces. The preacher is not telling them how to deal with the evil going on in their hearts. How can I win this battle over my sinful nature? The shackles of sin seem stronger than the power of God to deliver, so they stay silent.
They put on their masks and quietly live a double life. We smile, we worship, we testify about things that have no deep meaning. While deep down we are crying SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE ME!!! I CANNOT DO THIS ON MY OWN!! People are so weak they would rather sit comfortably in sin than fight. It is easier to put up a front as blessed and sanctified than to open up and say I am a sinner I need your help lord. You need to SAVE ME FROM MY SELF.
Just like many of you, I struggled, I wanted to be the best girl God wants me to be. And just like many of you I stumbled to the point where I was broken. I thought I would never climb out. I thought I would never be able to win. But unlike many of you, I never stopped crying out to God. One day while reading my bible, I stumbled upon the phrase "THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE". God already knew I was a sinner, he already knew my struggles, he knew my flaws, he knew I would mess up. But instead of being honest with God, myself and the people around me, I was putting up a front. I was too ashamed to let them see the real me, I was too afraid to disappoint those who felt I was so spiritual I would never fall into sin or make mistakes like many other people. I was too scared to cry out for help. But here I was in my room reporting myself to God again, asking for forgiveness again, being sick and tired of being sick and tired. I cried out Lord!!! SAVE ME FROM MYSELF!!! DRAG ME IF YOU NEED TO BUT DO NOT LET ME DIE IN SIN!! And those words rang in my head THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. It was the most difficult thing for me to do, to stand in front of the whole church and tell them I was struggling with porn but God will deliver me and anyone else who is struggling. After the words came out, I was like prize why the heck did you just say that, but I needed to say the truth. It did not matter who would look down on me, who would think I am no longer born again, who would point fingers at me. I needed my Freedom and the TRUTH, was the first step to getting it. I told my friend my struggle and where I needed help to get out of my sinful and dysfunctional relationship. I needed to breathe again. I left the choir because I realized God was more interested in my OBEDIENCE THAN MY SACRIFICE. I was looked at funny for leaving the choir. I felt I was mocking God with my double life. And it was time for me to be set free. My pride was not going to get in the way, my fears and worries were not going to get in the way, my feelings and my flesh were not going to get in the way. People’s opinions were also not going to hold me back. It was time for me to be set free!!! Thank God for bold Christian’s like Heather Lindsey who put out their stories and testimonies! Real testimonies of the struggles of the average youths. Struggles of a sinner like me and you. People who are speaking the truth without sugar coating it. Or just spelling out rules and regulations without telling us that they struggled too or how they struggled.
I would love to tell you it was a smooth process, but it was absolutely not!! I felt God dragging me and beating me up because I asked him to do that if that was what I needed to get out of sin. I had to fight everyday with all I had. I had to give up a lot of friendships that were affecting my walk with God, I had to fight every day. I still fight every day. I had to get to a point where I loved God more than I loved my sin. I got to a point where I really understood how my sins made God feel. I had to understand that in as much as God is a loving and forgiving God, He is a consuming fire who should be feared and reverenced. God worked on me and I was also willing and still willing to put in the work. I wake up ready to fight my flesh daily. It does not matter who thinks you are blessed and sanctified. To men you may be the anointed man or woman of God with a title, but God see's what no one else can see. You may succeed in deceiving your church, your family, and even yourself, but you can never deceive God!! Like me many of you need to take off those masks!! Now!! Cause tomorrow is not promised! You cannot afford to die in your sin!! I have been wanting to do a write up on purity but this has been on my heart. I felt God needed me to put this story out even if it’s so hard for me to. But I know God knows that this would touch the girl, or the boy who thinks purity is impossible. I made all these silly mistakes, but it’s not about how hard I fell, it’s about how hard I was willing to fight, to get back up. I refused to stay beaten down and defeated. So before I even attempt to tell you purity is possible, I need you to know that I understand the shackles can be broken. But you must cry out in truth to be set free!! And you must be so desperate to die to your flesh. With God it is possible. You will not even understand the amount of peace and joy and God's unending blessings I have been experiencing since I decided to die to my flesh. I am a work in progress claiming my victory every day. YOU NEED TO DECIDE IF YOU ARE READY TO TAKE OF THAT MASK!! AND YES THE TRUTH DID SET ME FREE!! AND IT WILL ALSO SET YOU FREE!! Feel free to leave comments and questions below. I will answer them. God bless you peeps. J