Sunday, July 31, 2016

                   LADY! LOVE YOUR OWN COMPANY?
         So this is a topic I have always wanted to address and would love to get feed back from my lovely ladies. So I have always been independent and liked to try things out myself and at my own terms. But I noticed that a lot of girls like to move in cliques, and  many always have to be in the company of other ladies. I have no problem with this at all o. But I am just wondering out loud about why it is so.
          While doing my under graduate studies in Russia, I noticed a trend, most of the girls liked to walk in two's and escort each other to the bathroom and do all of the girly stuff. Now in my opinion this is not bad oh, but I want to look into why a lot of ladies do that. While it is very okay to spend time with your girl friends and do all the girly things together, I also believe that in order to get to know yourself better, it is important to learn to enjoy your own company and develop yourself in moments of solitude. I constantly find myself having to apologize to fellow ladies because I am not so used to this whole tag along thing. If I want to go somewhere I just go, and if you are ready when I am, we can go together. Bla bla bla.
             I will share some of my experiences and how I am a more confident woman because I have learnt to enjoy my own company and I even get to work on my goals and dreams with time a lot of people waste on small talk and amebo up and down the place.

1) I was forced to look into what my purpose here on earth is. You are not here by accident and there is more to you than your physical attributes. You are a woman for a reason, and you need to develop a solid relationship with God to know what your purpose here on earth is. Unfortunately, many ladies are always so occupied with noise, gisting, and trivial things that they do not have time to dig deep into the reason for their existence. I like to call this the " MATTER SYNDROME" they have weight, and are just occupying space. This is not to make anyone feel bad oh, I just want to get you thinking and evaluating yourself. There is purpose in everything God created, even your beauty, gifts and talents are for a reason.

2) I was forced to have a mind of my own. Now we all know that men complain that women are indecisive. While this is mostly the case for many women, some people have learnt to be decisive because they are not always around people. When you go out by yourself without your bestie, you will have to pick a shoe by yourself, you will have to place the order yourself, you will learn to trust your own decisions and deal with the consequences. Keep in mind that there is nothing wrong with being with friends. We all know how to do that, but in order to be independent, you have to learn to do certain things on your own.

3) I learnt to use my time wisely. We all know that time wasted can never be regained. I learnt at a very young age that when you waste time, you can never get it back. Time you spend on irrelevant things that add nothing to your life should be cut down reasonably. I love watching movies, but I have learnt to watch movies when I have the time for it. I go to gist when I can make time for it and I don't spend my whole day just talking and doing nothing productive. Honestly I even prefer to get good rest than wasting time talking about irrelevant topics that add nothing to my life. Or complaining about who hates me or likes me. These days I do not even notice such things because I have out grown getting affected by negative people. So enjoying your own company will help you learn to aportion time wisely and be productive. We all have 24 hours in a day and we all use it differently. How you use your time will determine how much you achieve.

4) Spending time with myself and enjoying my own company has taught me to mind my own business. Honestly jobless people are the ones who constantly have time to make other people's business their business. The truth is if you are busy doing something productive you will really not have time to meddle in other people's business. We have all experienced that one friend who always has gossip to spill and who is always busy analyzing people's lives and relationships on Facebook, and worrying about who said what about them. The truth is you need to force yourself to learn to mind your own business. And a good place to start is to be with yourself.

5) I have become more confident and more sure of myself. Spending time with myself and reflecting on my feelings and my life has forced me to get to know myself better. I know what I will absolutely not settle for, I have learnt to compliment myself and love myself to the most minute details about me. I know now that I really do not need to be anything other than myself and I have a responsibility to keep growing and learning to be the absolute best version of myself that God has called me to be,  I wake up and I look in the mirror and see myself through the eyes of God. I remind myself that God created me perfectly so I absolutely do not need to be threteaned by the beauty or uniqueness of another lady. My eyes, my nose, my body and everything about me is unique. I do not need constant validation or compliments from people. When I get compliments I appreciate them, but I do not get cocky because I know where I get everything from, and that is God!

6) enjoying my own company has made me picky about who I spend time with. Honestly if you want to be friends with me or want me around you, you must also be someone who is purposeful and is not  a time waster. I cannot stay 10 minutes in a room where all I am hearing is gossip, or omg did you see what she was wearing or that boy is super hot. I will rather sleep, read a book or spend time with God. I love to spend time with people who I can learn from, people who motivate me, and inspire me.

7) Spending time with myself has forced me to work on my weaknesses. Before people even tell me, I know of some of my flaws. And when I am notified of a new one, I go away and get to work trying to learn to be better. If you are always surrounded with people, you may not be able to reflect and check yourself. You should make time to talk to yourself and ask yourself what you really want to do with your life.

8) enjoying your own company will force you to learn to talk to God. Stop yourself from running to people sometimes and just talk to God about those problems. Then pick up your bible, read, pray and then listen and wait for a word from God.

9) Spending time with yourself helps you to work on your strengths and develop them. This ultimately makes you someone everyone wants to associate with because you have put in work to be useful and become a master in something.

10) Spending time with yourself helps you clear your mind from all the noise and clutter the world sometimes forces on you.

Enjoy your time with your friends, and family, but do not forget to learn to love your own company. And if you do not like to spend time with yourself, you need to find out why. Balance is the key here. I am not saying become so isolated and dis attached, but just learn to be by yourself and love it.